Leap of Faith

I have wanted to write about this so many times over the past year and a half.  I was in Barnes and Noble last night looking at journals and devotionals and saw a quote that went a little something like this (in typical Katie fashion, I did not write it down...and those of you that REALLY know me know that I certainly didn't spend $12.99 to buy the journal!) :

"God promised to provide for our needs today.  Should our needs become more tomorrow, God will provide for those also."

This was the final fuel that I needed to write this post.  I really toiled with the decision of quitting my job in 2010.  I had been with the company for 6 years, and although I by no means loved it, it was at least a job with decent pay and benefits. Let me rewind a little here...prior to having Preslie, I was the girl that swore that I could never be one of those stay at homes that just like sit in the house all day and do nothing (yikes!yep, I actually said that!). As a child, I envisioned myself living in a big city, wearing a suit with high heals and carrying a breifcase into a tall office building each day. I didn't really know what I would be doing, but I just knew that I would have an office job that called for the suit and high heels! Was I being selfish by having a change of heart, by wanting a career change and by wanting to stay home with my daughter?  Should I just suck it up and stay at a job that I was not passionate about? The answer to those questions: "NO".  No, I was not being selfish and No, I should not have settled for a job that I did not love.  I believe that because God loves us, He wants us to be happy and that includes doing things that make us happy and experience joy.  For me, that means spending more time with my family, staying home with my daughter and one day teaching young children.

I often think about how short life really is and how precious of a gift each and every day is.  See, my father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 17. From that tragic and life changing experience, I learned (along with many other life lessons) that there is no guarantee of tomorrow. In fact, last year Sean and I took an anniversary trip to Natchez, MS.  Our cottage was right across the street from a cemetary (kinda weird, right?).  Anyways, one night we were driving back to the cottage, past the huge cemetary, and IT hit me.  As if I were realizing it for the first time, it REALLY hit me hard that we were just going to well, die one day (I hope that doesn't sound morbid to anyone!).  This was another huge wakeup call for me to quit worrying so much and just enjoy life.  In the grand scheme of things, none of the crap I worry about really matters anyways.

Before making a final decision, I crunched numbers over and over, taking Sean's income which we would now have to solely rely on, and factoring in every possible bill and expense.  Thinking of the possible expenses that could arise was daunting and discouraging. My biggest fear was putting my family in a bad financial situation. Could we really survive on one income, pay my college tuition, and adequately provide for our daughter?   It looked as if we might have to cut so many material things out of our life- my babygap addiction, vacations, eating out all the time, Starbucks :(, but I realized that these were just that- material things that, although nice, did not determine my happiness.  How blessed we are to only have to worry about giving up these luxuries when there are people that are unsure of where their next meal will come from or where they will lay their heads at night.

It has been amazing what God has done over the past year and a half.  I have witnessed my baby growing into a beautiful, witty, entertaining 2 year old. I often reflect on the past year and a half and think about eveything Pres and I have done together.  The thought of not having experienced any of those things nearly sends me into a panic attack.  I am so thankful and blessed to have had the opportunity to spend that time with her. Those years, weeks, days and moments are gone now, never to be relived again. Thank You God for sending me down the right path and letting me experience all of this!  He has provided for our family time and time again. When unexpected costs and needs have come up, there was always a way to pay for them.  It has taught me to let go, worry less (I still worry, but I promise I'm working on it!) and truly trust that God will take care of our family and guide us down the right path because that is all that He has ever done!

Oh yes and P.S.- that part about stay at home moms sitting in the house all day and doing nothing....I quickly learned that was NOT true.  Although this is the most rewarding job on the planet, it is also the hardest!!!!!!

Katie