Cheers to 6 Years!!!

Well, I havent't exactly stuck to my commitment of blogging once a week, but I only have 10 weeks of student teaching left so I will have more time soon! I cannot believe that after this week, I am 1/3 of the way done student teaching already! That is just unbelievable.  It is flying by....Did I mention that I LOVE teaching?  This experience is definitely confirmation that I made the right decision by making a career change! Ok, now on to what I decided to blog about today....

Saturday, Feb 4th, marked Sean and I's (is that correct grammer...seriously doubt it, but anywho) 6 year wedding anniversary. I CANNOT believe that its been 6 years.  I think that once you have a kid, everything just kinda speeds up.   It seems like SO much has happened in 6 years between selling a house, buying another house, Sean changing companies, getting pregnant, having Preslie, raising Preslie!!!, me quitting my job, me going back to school, Sean going back to school...and the list goes on and on...basically just normal LIFE occurrences!!! It has definitely been a whirlwind full of ups and downs, but with many more ups!!!!

I know I have mentioned it time and time again, but God has truly blessed us again and again.  He blessed me by bringing me Sean 9 years ago.  Let me tell you about this guy...He is wonderful.  He does so much for our family. He is the type of guy that wakes me up with coffee fresh from Starbucks just because he knows I love it so much.  He is the most laid back person you will ever meet...well, let me take that back...He WAS the most laid back person you would ever meet until we had Preslie.  Now, he worries about a handful of little things, like Pres having too much sugar.  Honestly, I think its kinda cute that he worries about that because there are very few things that he obsesses about.  Because he stresses about so little, he is THE CALM in our family.  Let's face it, nothing about me is calm.  I stress about, well,  just about everything! When uncertainty arises, he is the one that tells me to just relax and have faith that everything WILL work out.  Guess who is right everytime? Yep, him...of course! This is teaching me to believe those words...Thank You Sean for proving and teaching me that having faith and trust in God works, for teaching me that some things are out of our control and that we just have to let go (a very hard thing for a control freak like myself to do).  I have learned so much from this husband of mine!

He is a wonderful daddy. I think I admire him most for this.  He is one of those hands on types of daddies.  I think we see these hands on daddy types lot more these days than when I was growing up.  Not that fathers weren't involved in my generation, but I mean he changes diapers, brushes teeth, gives baths, takes her grocery shopping, basically entertains and cares for her ALL day for the 2 weeks that he is home.  Besides performing the basic care duties NECESSARY to raising a child, he is her provider, her playmate, her shoulders to ride on, her storyteller, her hero and her heart.  Thank You for being not only a father, but also a Daddy for my baby!

I could go on and on about him, but I'm realizing that this blog post is already getting long and I haven't even started telling you about our weekend yet...Sheesh! Basically, the dude is pretty awesome! We met 9 years ago and he swept me off of my feet..we fell crazy in love. Has it all been daisies and butterflies? NO...anyone that tells you that their marriage is perfect and that it is bliss all the time is LYING!!!! Ok so here are some things that I love about him (besides the things I have not mentioned) :
HE IS: my best friend, a hopeless romantic, one of the kindest people I have ever met with a huge heart, super polite (says yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you and please to EVERYONE!!!...i love this!!), one of the wittiest people I have ever met, a hottie (have you seen those eyes?), and most of all...he just LOVES me. 

Now, on to our weekend.  A week before our anniversary, Sean (who was offshore at the time), emailed me and said to pack a bag with clothes for dinner because he had everything booked and planned for our anniversary.  I had no clue we were going ANYWHERE because we had decided we would not go anywhere because we just went to Mexico 2 months ago.  Fine by me though...this girl is always down for a trip.  He ended up spilling the beans after I asked over and over.  He booked a cottage at Oak Alley Plantation...a beautiful spread in Vacherie, LA.  It was the plantation where they filmed some of the scenes in Interview with the Vampire and some Beyonce video.  Since our anniversary was on a Saturday, he sent roses and chocolate covered strawberries to school for me.  He even went through the trouble of emailing the teacher I'm student teaching with to see where he should send them.  I told you, he is good (and one of a kind)!!!  So Saturday rolled around and we headed towards Vacherie, stopping in Baton Rouge to eat and pick up some goodies to cook for dinner at Whole Foods (have I mentioned how much I freaking love that place?!?! Berry Chantilly cake is the bomb!!!).  Anyways, after shopping for Pres at the outlets, we made it to our little cottage around 6:30.  Of course, it was dark so we couldn't see much of the grounds until the next morning.  In the morning, we had breakfast on the little sun porch of the restaurant and then walked the grounds.  If you have never been there, it is worth a trip just to see the amazing oak trees!!! We had a wonderful little weekend getaway!!! Thank You Sean for planning our trip! I love you so much and am thankful for everything that you do for me! Cheers to a wonderful 6 years! Here's to many, many more! Here are a few pics from the weekend!

We WILL survive the terrible 2's!!!

Well we have been battling the terrible two's for sometime now (3 months seems like a freaking eternity!), but this weekend it has been really bad.  I think Pres was one of those kids that hit the terrible 2's when she was still 1 though.....she was an early bloomer I guess you could say! HA!

So I'm trying to figure out why this weekend has been so bad, and I've come to the conclusion that it could potentially be several things.  1.  Sean left Thursday, and she woke up both Thursday and Friday mornings asking where he was and then cried when I told her he was at work.  2.  I am student teaching full time, and she has been going to her new daycare.  Although she loves it,  I recognize that it is still a transition for her.  She went from staying home with me for the last year and a half to now being separated from me for about 9 hours a day! Also, I'm sure she doesn't sleep as well there as she does at home for her naps.  Anyways, I'm hoping this is just an adjustment period for her because if she starts acting like this from here on out, she will DEFINITELY NEVER have the opportunity to be a big sister.

Here is a little look into the past weekend (and its not over yet!).  I picked her up at about 3:45 on Friday and we went to Barnes and Noble. I had promised her that morning that we would go when I picked her up.  I try to stay OUT of the house as much as possible! She loves the Thomas the Train table there and the lego table, not to to mention all of the books.  She was actually VERY good there. I talk about how wild she is at times, but when she plays with other kids I often see a completely different child.  I see a sweet girl who shares, is gentle with her playmates and always says please and thank you (gotta give it to the girl for remembering to use those good manners!). Score! Barnes and Noble was a success.  From there, we went to eat dinner with my mom (aka Meme in Preslie's world).  She was pretty good until the end of dinner.  See, Pres (like many other children I hear) has a VERY short attention span.  You have about 20 seconds before she is bored and ready to move on to something else.  After 30 minutes, there is just nothing else to occupy her with.  This is usually about the point when she starts trying to crawl under the table.  I'm not sure what I said to scold her at one point, but her response was "No, mama I not love you!"  Talk about hearbreaking, right? Geez!!! I blame Nemo for that one...the part where he tells his dad that he hates him (I mean come on Pixar, why in the world would you put THAT in a kid's movie? I'm sure parents everywhere are cussing you for that one!).  Anyways, after a few more meltdowns at the restaurant, she ended up throwing a glass hot sauce bottle across the table.  That was the last straw.  We exited the building after that one, my head down...telling myself not to look up for "the stares".  Sean always says that he's sure there is a standing ovation whenever we leave a restaurant, and I'm sure Friday night was no different.  Saturday morning we had a play date.  Pres had already been in the corner several times prior to making the 10 am playdate.  She was pretty good while we were there, but started acting out and not listening at the end.  Once again, we left in typical fashion- me struggling to hold Preslie, her fighting, kicking and screaming the entire way out.  She then proceeded to scream for 45 minutes.  See, she is not the child who will just forget about something (nor is she one of those children that you can make eat something because she will eventually get hungry- she just won't do it...she WILL starve first).  The phrase she chose to repeat for 45 minutes on Saturday was "I want to go back and clean up" (insert blood curdling scream here) REPEAT...you get the drift.  After 45 minutes of this, she screamed herself to sleep.  Later that day, we went to dinner at Zoe's.  Once again, she pitched a fit because she didn't want to leave the fountain (too bad kid...we have to go home sometime!).  The 50 steps to the car felt like I was running a marathon holding a fighting baby tiger.  There were a couple more stints in time out that night for separate occurences when we got home also.  Then, the drama ensued this morning at Target.  I swear, I prepare myself for a meltdown everytime I go into that place with her.  She was SO good up until the very end.  We once again left with her kicking and screaming and fighting me.  Every eye was on us...go ahead people and stare...too bad, so sorry...you wanna give her a try? Yep, didn't think so! So that has been our weekend in a nutshell (and just think, that was a condensed version of the tantrums and drama).

I think its so funny that when you are pregnant everyone warns you to get a lot of sleep and to enjoy your "me" time now because of how hard the newborn stage is.  That was such a piece of cake compared to toddlerhood! What they don't warn you about is your child acting like a wild animal, screaming and kicking on the floor of Target. God forbid you dare to pick them up or try to move them because they cry, scream and kick even harder.  Imagine the stares you get from that one!!! Oh, and my favorite is when they hurl something (ex: frisbee, hot sauce bottle...just to name a few from my own personal experience) with great force across the table at a restaurant.  Believe me, onlookers and innocent bystanders tend to excuse a crying infant much more easily than an out of control toddler.  I feel like such a horrible mother when Pres acts like this and I wonder where in the world we went wrong in the last two years. What did we do that causes her to act like this?  What is really discouraging is when you see a child who looks about the same age as your own sitting perfectly in their highchair or cart, their shirts void of food stains and their hair isn't standing all over their heads. This is usually quite a contrast to Pres whose bow is ripped out of her hair and shirt stained within minutes of leaving the house.  I can't help but wonder what those parents did differently.  On the other hand, I must admit that I smile to myself when I see a kid misbehaving in public ...kind of like, "YES, there are other ones out there!!"  It reassures me that maybe I'm not alone.  Maybe those kids who are being so good right now in their high chairs are holy terrors at the mall tomorrow! I don't know if that is really how it works, but a girl can hope! 

I sometimes feel guilty about complaining about Pres acting out...like right now I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't post this because of all the complaining.  The point of me writing this is to have an outlet, to get it all out of my head.  Once its all down, I feel a little better.  I recently read a mommy blog about how hard parenting is and it talked about Chronos and Kairos time.  It explained that Chronos time is real time, like the slow ten minutes in the target line when your kid is pitching a fit, whereas Kairos time is God's time.  Kairos time are those special little moments when time stands still, your heart feels all warm and fuzzy, and you feel that familiar lump in your throat and tears in your eyes.  When Preslie hugs me tight, tight around my neck and says "I Love You Mommy" in that little voice of hers, that is a Kairos moment.  When I watch her play outside in the late afternoon, seeing her giggling and running, with the beautiful setting sun falling on that angelic little face and her bouncing curls, that is a Kairos moment.  When she grabs my hand and tells me that she wants to hold it, Kairos moment.  Since reading that blog post about Kairos and Chronos time, I have tried to make myself more aware and appreciative of these moments.  My last blog post was about how how much God has blessed us with.  Yes, I am often stopped dead in my tracks and am overcome with gratitude and sheer disbelief in how much God loves us and all the things he has blessed us with.  My eyes fill with tears, I stand where I am, look up and whisper "Thank You God." That doesn't mean that every moment is perfect, filled with rainbows and butterflies though.  There are hard times also, moments of uncertainty, doubt, stress, and terrible two's.  The point of all my rambling is that if I can take notice of and appreciate the Kairos moments, it will make those grueling Chronos moments a little easier to survive.  So my new goal is to recognize that its ok to vent and complain about the hard times...I think thats only natural, but to continue to take notice of the good times, the Kairos moments.  In fact, I may start writing them down at the end of each day. Thank God for those Kairos moments to get us through the terrible 2's!!!! I hope everyone has a fabulous week! Take care! Katie

Leap of Faith

I have wanted to write about this so many times over the past year and a half.  I was in Barnes and Noble last night looking at journals and devotionals and saw a quote that went a little something like this (in typical Katie fashion, I did not write it down...and those of you that REALLY know me know that I certainly didn't spend $12.99 to buy the journal!) :

"God promised to provide for our needs today.  Should our needs become more tomorrow, God will provide for those also."

This was the final fuel that I needed to write this post.  I really toiled with the decision of quitting my job in 2010.  I had been with the company for 6 years, and although I by no means loved it, it was at least a job with decent pay and benefits. Let me rewind a little here...prior to having Preslie, I was the girl that swore that I could never be one of those stay at homes that just like sit in the house all day and do nothing (yikes!yep, I actually said that!). As a child, I envisioned myself living in a big city, wearing a suit with high heals and carrying a breifcase into a tall office building each day. I didn't really know what I would be doing, but I just knew that I would have an office job that called for the suit and high heels! Was I being selfish by having a change of heart, by wanting a career change and by wanting to stay home with my daughter?  Should I just suck it up and stay at a job that I was not passionate about? The answer to those questions: "NO".  No, I was not being selfish and No, I should not have settled for a job that I did not love.  I believe that because God loves us, He wants us to be happy and that includes doing things that make us happy and experience joy.  For me, that means spending more time with my family, staying home with my daughter and one day teaching young children.

I often think about how short life really is and how precious of a gift each and every day is.  See, my father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 17. From that tragic and life changing experience, I learned (along with many other life lessons) that there is no guarantee of tomorrow. In fact, last year Sean and I took an anniversary trip to Natchez, MS.  Our cottage was right across the street from a cemetary (kinda weird, right?).  Anyways, one night we were driving back to the cottage, past the huge cemetary, and IT hit me.  As if I were realizing it for the first time, it REALLY hit me hard that we were just going to well, die one day (I hope that doesn't sound morbid to anyone!).  This was another huge wakeup call for me to quit worrying so much and just enjoy life.  In the grand scheme of things, none of the crap I worry about really matters anyways.

Before making a final decision, I crunched numbers over and over, taking Sean's income which we would now have to solely rely on, and factoring in every possible bill and expense.  Thinking of the possible expenses that could arise was daunting and discouraging. My biggest fear was putting my family in a bad financial situation. Could we really survive on one income, pay my college tuition, and adequately provide for our daughter?   It looked as if we might have to cut so many material things out of our life- my babygap addiction, vacations, eating out all the time, Starbucks :(, but I realized that these were just that- material things that, although nice, did not determine my happiness.  How blessed we are to only have to worry about giving up these luxuries when there are people that are unsure of where their next meal will come from or where they will lay their heads at night.

It has been amazing what God has done over the past year and a half.  I have witnessed my baby growing into a beautiful, witty, entertaining 2 year old. I often reflect on the past year and a half and think about eveything Pres and I have done together.  The thought of not having experienced any of those things nearly sends me into a panic attack.  I am so thankful and blessed to have had the opportunity to spend that time with her. Those years, weeks, days and moments are gone now, never to be relived again. Thank You God for sending me down the right path and letting me experience all of this!  He has provided for our family time and time again. When unexpected costs and needs have come up, there was always a way to pay for them.  It has taught me to let go, worry less (I still worry, but I promise I'm working on it!) and truly trust that God will take care of our family and guide us down the right path because that is all that He has ever done!

Oh yes and P.S.- that part about stay at home moms sitting in the house all day and doing nothing....I quickly learned that was NOT true.  Although this is the most rewarding job on the planet, it is also the hardest!!!!!!

Katie